HOW TO DEAL WITH CRANKY SELF-RIGHTEOUS HAGS.

Girlfriends, every guy wants a girlfriend, so did I, I have spent
around 15 years without kissing a girl and later when I found one, I
dumped her the very same day,
I just couldn't figure why! But afterward I concluded that their cranky self-righteous attitude is totally intolerable and I better off without a hag screaming in my ears about what she likes and what she does not!

Guys are all set to give arms away for busty girls but they never
bother to understand that how doleful their lives will become once they
go out with these hags. You better follow me and how I coped up this
situation so easily!

So it happened the other day when I was at the grocery store looking
for a dishwasher liquid bottle when I met this chubby busty hag "Amy",
she was looking for the same and unfortunately there was only one
left on the rack so I quickly grabbed it and the hag started bitching and moaning that she saw it first, as am a generous gentleman I showed a little respect an let her take it, she chuckled at me and my dick instantly updated me that "it's time to go bang -bang" so I started a flirt kinda conversation with her and ended by taking her address and her phone number.

Later that day, I received a phone call from her.

Amy: "hey, it's Amy, the grocery store girl. Remember"

Me: "hey, how are you? Yeah I do remember".

Amy: "well am really pissed about my dad"

Me: "your dad, huh? What happened?"

Amy: "I told him about you and he got mad at me."

Me: "about me, what are you talking about?"

Amy: "I told him that I like you and want to date you"

Me: "really you want to date me, that's cool"

Amy: "but what about my dad"

Me: "ignore that old fart, Ima look into what's wrong with him"

Amy: "alright, tomorrow evening at 7,

Me: "sure".

So the next day's evening I showed up at her home and knocked the door a time or two

Her dad opened the door; he was lardass undersexed midget with big eyes.

Me: "Is Amy home?"

Midget: "no, she's not home, May I ask you, how do you know her?"

Me: "I met her at the grocery store, I must commend she's a cool girl, and we have planned to hang out tonight."

Then out of nowhere I hear Amy's voice.

Amy: "Dad! dinner is ready."

I knew that faggot was lying to me but I didn't say a word as I
really wanted to bang that hag and I could barely suppress the urge.

Me: "hey, Amy how are you?"

Amy: "chillin' as always, what about you?"

Me: "I'm just fine..fine."

Midget: "hey why don't you dine with us tonight?"

Amy: "Dad we have already planned to hang out tonight."

Midget: "but it's already late."

The midget was feeling a bit dubious as he saw me gape at his daughter's boobs.

The hag didn't listen to him and sat in my car, I drove her out of there straight away.

On the way I asked her.

Me: "so where are we going anyway?"

Amy: "haven't dined at a Chinese restaurant in like forever."

Poor cunt!, I can go there eleven times a day and can also smack a
punch in the face of the manager regardless how much of money he makes.

Me: "sure".

So we reached the restaurant in no time.

I got out of the car and like an ideal gentleman I opened the car
door for her, that hag probably took around a total of 5 minutes to get out of the car, if she were not busty I would have cussed at her.

We reached the counter, the hag said

Amy: "you go sit, I will be there in a minute, I gotta make a phone call"

Me: "I got a cell phone."

Amy: "no, it's private."

Private! What does she mean private?, she's already giving attitude like if I ain't no shit, I could slap her five across to the eyes but my cock always holds me back.

Me: "alright"

And went in and took a seat.

Like around after 5 minutes she showed up.

Me: who were you talking to?

Amy: "(seething) it's none of your business?"

Me: silent.

Then the waiter showed up and handed a menu to the hag it was the
only one that he had, so I had to wait before she could order, that hag looked into the menu like if it was a fucking porn clip, took around 2 minutes and couldn't order anything, so she handed it to me.

I looked into it and there was hardly anything palatable that didn't include shrimp in it and said.

Me: "is there anything that doesn't include shrimp?"

The waiter was a diehard Chinese and could hardly comprehend this foreign language.

Waiter: "(pause for 3 seconds) sir, me no English well, please manager"

(The ultimate effort that I made to decode what he actually meant was "im a dim-witted Chinese, please sock one in the manager for hiring me")

It was already getting late and I didn't have time to go and argue the obtuse manager since I knew that manager was even worse.

So I just unwillingly ordered salt baked shrimps by pointing at it on the menu.

The hag started talking about everything lame, and was totally
pissing me off and I was looking for the waiter so that I could finish
quick and get my arms on her boobs.

Me: "so?".

Amy: "so?, hey can you wait for a minute? I gotta go to the restroom."

Me: "ohk!"

I started playing with the chopsticks while she was in the restroom
and she took plenty of time, the waiter served the shrimp but she was still not back, she finally shows up.

Me: "hey! You took real long."

She smiles...

5 minutes later.

Amy: "hey can you wait...I will be back"

Me: (reluctantly) "o..h..k!"

And in like 15 minutes she went to the restroom for around 12 times like a fucking piss factory.

I have already mentioned that I'm short tempered and such things turn me off

Me: "hey! What's wrong with you, am not here to watch you go to the restroom over and over again."

Amy: "what do you mean, how come you tell me what's right and what's not, you can't fucking rule me, how dare you boss me?"

Wow hag. An exclusive speech on civil/democratic rights like if I care.

This infuriated me but, I didn't say a word and decided to teach the hag a lesson on "how to get dumped?"

I pretended to be normal and continued talking to her about everything.

I finished my dinner, went close to her and put my fingers down my
throat; puked it all over her face with the nastiest of the stink I
could ever summon and gave her a shower of a life time she will never
forget, she tried to hit me but I'm stronger and could control her well
and gave her a chop right on the boobs.

Me: "chubby fat fugly ass whore! aww is
that it? You slimy fat douche with
wrinkles on your 5000 pound ass! Lazy
scum on earth. People like you don't work and just sit depositing fat up their ass fucking ignorant elephant, fucking prehistoric creature. Diabetic skid mark on my underwear, methane gas container, steaming pile of shit, anal slut, folded body mass of a hippo. I wanna puke in your face oh I already did hoe.You are the fattest and the ugliest peace of warm methane that airs with redundant fat imported from the Chubbers.island.get a life hag"

I covered my face with the napkin paper and fled off there rapidly as I knew that people around could take a proper action against me and I didn't want to go to jail.

I jumped in my car and drove off..

At least I got a chance to put my hand on her boobs though it was a chop.

It was a fun date at least for me

I'm still dating girls and the day I find another supercilious hag like her, am surely gonna repeat the puke process. WORD!

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